Gender Insight Women now seek to honour themselves?
CLAD in her black and white Church uniform, an old woman entered the Church carrying a bag as she struggled through to find herself a seat. I sat and watched this woman take her seat and I could not help likening her struggled walk to the many struggles she has had to encounter as a woman.
Yes, her bended back told a story – a story of a life of many struggles, struggles that up to now do not have solutions even for today’s woman.
There seems to be no gap, except that of age between women of the last century and this one because they seem to endure the same kind of struggles. The reasons are simple – women have been waiting to be honoured by others! Now this grandmother joins her daughters and granddaughters to celebrate life as a woman, not because there is anything worth celebrating about the life of many women in Zambia, but because suddenly it has dawned on our women that they owe it to themselves to recognize and respect their achievements.
Imagine how many years have been lost for our mothers and their mothers that could have easily brought honour to the name of a woman.
I met this grandmother at a conference dubbed ‘Celebrating Women’ organized by the three Church mother bodies.
At long last Christian women have come to the duty and responsibility lies within them to bring about change and a whole new meaning to a word that has so much been abused to satisfy man’s ego – submission (or is it the joy of being a woman?).
What is most gratifying about this is the fact that after tradition, religion reigns high on the list factors that have been cited as retrogressive for the development of women.
So now that women, Christian or not, have finally decided to honour themselves because no one seems to be doing it for them – not their children, not their husbands and least of all not even their nation - the adage, “If you can’t beat them, join them”, should be making a lot of sense for our women.
And it’s about time too. Our women need to realize that they hold their dignity and self belief in their own hands and that they owe it to themselves and the next generation of women to bring dignity to womanhood.
Unity being of central position in this whole issue, women need to be more aware of their common grounds than their differences - they need to stop defining themselves by status, education, occupation, race, age or religion because the experiences are but the same everywhere.
So the common ground here should be that the experience of being a woman is the same at anytime everywhere and that it gives no respect to education, age, occupation, race or creed.
How we define ourselves largely shapes our life’s parameters. And what we get out of life also largely depends on self-belief and our attitudes towards others. This is one of the greatest opportunities and advantages that can be used to bring about a common unity among women, beginning with the individuals first, just as Christian women have realised. It is only after one appreciates herself that it becomes important for them to appreciate other people.
Many things that happen to women are allowed by women themselves.
That is why it is very important that they learn first to love, respect and dignify themselves, only then can it make sense for them to demand respect and honour from others.
Sometimes, knowingly and unknowingly, women create for themselves a frame of reference that does not accommodate development and opportunities and end up getting only those things which are apathetic expectations, and this is largely due to how women think of themselves.
Even though this has been designed by society, there is no excuse about the fact that we still have the power to change the status quo, with so many opportunities presenting themselves.
When one is searching for inspiration to live life with courage, one needs not look further than themselves because within ourselves lies creativity, innovation and a wealth of talent that has been hidden for so long.
Elevation, self-esteem, honour, respect, whatever you may call it, must begin from within and no age, race, religion or status should be an impediment to the attainment of any of these!
mpsangi@yahoo.com